TONIGHT'S ANTHEM

Let's be serious, there is no description needed for this video.

ALCOHOL OF THE MONTH

I'm not much of a wine drinker but when I was presented with the opportunity to try my roommate's (Danielle) wine last year I said, "what the hay" and decided to try it. I must say, I've only had a few wines in my entire life but this one is my absolute favourite:

It's called Pink by Yellowglen, don't ask me what Yellowglen is because I have absolutely no idea. To be honest, what got me was the presentation of the bottle; I mean, who wouldn't want to drink a wine with a name like that? It looks classy and sophisticated, things I like to think I am when I drink wine. It's a sparkling wine, I don't know what that means in the wine world but it tastes delicious. I give this wine an A for AMAZING.

MEMORY LANE: SMIRNOFF CITRUS VODKA

SMIRNOFF CITRUS VODKA:

When: September 26, 2009
Where: My house/Big Buck's

Yah, Citrus vodka, I have no idea what the fuck I was thinking. I bought this a couple days after I turned nineteen because I wanted to change it up from the Strawberry and Watermelon vodka that I had been drinking since I was like eight years old. So it was a lovely Friday evening, I had my friends come over to celebrate my nineteenth birthday. Abby and I did shots of this nasty vodka like no tomorrow, like we were completely trashed and I loved every second of it. After predrinking for a bit, we went to Big Buck's for my very first time at a bar. I must say, my first experience at a bar was pretty epic. However, I lost my camera for a bit, which wasn't cool at all but we asked a couple bouncers until we asked the right one who had found it. We danced the night away, literally, like we only left the dancefloor to get more drinks and then we were right back there. Abby was dancing with the guy who need every single word to the song, "In the Ayer", it was pretty awesome. The dancefloor there is pretty cool, they have the actual dance floor and then a bunch of stairs up to the stage, the stage is where we spent a lot of our time. So all of us were dancing in a circle and this black guy wearing this white suit comes over and grabs Abby's hand to start dancing with her and she refused him. When he asked me to dance, I was obviously totally down for it because I love the black hotties, especially when they're classy in white suits. My friends told me not to go over there because, well, he was old but I didn't notice that until after I started dancing with him. I told him that I had to dance with him because he was the owner of the club and I wanted to get us free drinks. So, I danced with him for a bit and I guess I was starting to sober up or something because I realized how old he actually was. I decided that maybe dancing with this old black man wasn't the way I wanted to spend my birthday, especially since he wasn't the owner of any club. It must've been that white suit that fooled me because I have absolutely no idea where I got it in my head that he was the owner of the club. All I can really say now is that I wish someone had taken a picture of that moment in my life because I want to remember it forever and ever.... and ever.

ROCK THE CASBAH

Last night was my friend Michelle's birthday party. I decided to change it up a little and drink wine instead of what I usually drink: the leftover alcohol that people leave at our parties. So we start predrinking a little bit at my house and then make it over to Michelle's around eleven o'clock or so. We walk in the door, into the living room and BAM, it hits me: this is the most multicultural party I have ever been to. There were a bunch of black guys there (my fav, as you know) and we talked to this Spanish guy named Christian for most of the night who claimed he had drank one and a half 26s. Now, let's be serious Christian, I drank almost a whole 26 and almost died, I'm pretty sure you over exaggerated a little bit. So, after Christian spilled a shot of tequila all over my legs, I decided to stop talking to him and talk to the black hottie sitting next to me on the couch. We chatted for a bit, Christian interrupted us and tried convincing me that him and Matt (black hottie) were blood related. I may have been drunk but I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference between a black man and not-so-black man, especially when one of them is claiming that they're brothers. Michelle, the birthday girl, was completely trashed, like I had never in my life seen her like this. Her ass made more of an appearance than anything else that night. After a while, we all decided to leave to go to the bar and ended up at the bar on campus at my school. Jen and I waited in line for about seven minutes, realized how amazing a pita would be at that point in time and left to get a pita. We made friends with the Pita Shack employee and bonded over our nose piercings. After getting out pitas, we started walking home and I got distracted by a bunch of people sitting near tents outside a residence. Jen and Kass, not impressed with our pit stop, kept walking home and left me there. I started chatting up the people outside the tents, they were there for some reason, I can't remember what but I asked them if they needed donations, decided that instead of going into my purse and getting money, I just threw my purse at them and told them they could have all the money in there. Of course, being good Laurier citizens, seeing how drunk I was, gave back my purse without taking any money from me. So, I started walking home, fell once... or twice.... and then made it home to eat my delicious pita. I guess it's kind of depressing that we drank three nights in a row, and didn't even make it out to a bar for more than an hour. That's okay, I'm sure the owners of Four Seasons and Pita Shack love our business.

FRIDAY NIGHT MADNESS

So only one word can sum up the events that occurred last night: RIDICULOUS... just complete ridiculousness. For the most part, it was a pretty fun night, mainly because I ended up getting pizza and Omegling with Fiona. The entire night is mostly a blur, and I feel like I say that all the time on here when I write these things, but it's true. I was down in our basement for most of the night, until I came upstairs to Jen bitching at some guy telling him to leave our house because was being rude. Honestly, I was so rattled by that and I'm pretty sure that Jen has the power to kick anyone out of a house (she's scary in that way). Near the end of the night, a bunch of my friends were going to Philip's and tried getting me to go with them but all that multi coloured rum had gotten to my head (for some reason, my 26 of rum turned from clear to this weird greeny/pinky colour.. don't ask me how that happened). After the party starting dying out, around three o'clock or so, I went downstairs to see if anyone was down there and noticed that my iPod was missing from the iPod dock that plays our music. I started looking around for it and gave up because I realized that I was far too drunk to be looking for a missing iPod. In the morning, we cleaned up (after going to Benny's for a delicious breakfast) and that is when I came to terms with the fact that someone stole my iPod. I had absolutely no idea that we invited criminals to our party and I'm still pissed the guy with the shaved head and ten cases of beer stole my iPod. Not only was my iPod stolen, Steph's cell phone was stolen also. In the words of my eleven year old brother, "this really grinds my gears." And so, my advice to all of you, if someone comes into your house looking like a criminal, they probably are so get Jen to kick them out.

ANOTHER NIGHT AT CHAINSAW

Last night, my roommate's friend from Ottawa, Fiona came to our lovely home in celebration of her 20th birthday. We decided that the best place to take her was the bar called Dallas, a bar that I'm not much of a fan of but there's a mechanical bull there so who can complain? Anyways, she got to our house pretty late, around eleven or so which meant she had about three and a half seconds to get drunk before we went to the bar. Honestly, this girl is a champ. She downed about ten shots within ten minutes. I went upstairs for ten minutes, came back down and she was completely trashed. Good job Fiona, you made me proud. Our plans to go to Dallas failed miserably for a couple reasons: 1) it wasn't until twelve o'clock that we made it out of the house and 2) the bus ride there would have taken at least fifteen minutes... AND SO, no Dallas (can't say I was too opposed to not going there). Everyone ended up leaving the house except for Jen (another roomie) and I because we are actually the slowest people on this earth. Jen lost her phone so we were looking for it for about twelve years. Two drunk betches + searching for a lost item = bad news bears. We looked for awhile and figured we should leave for the bar since everyone left days ago. We called a cab and went to Chainsaw (oh yes). I was reunited with some friends from last year which was just super. Fiona almost got in a fight because she is a crazy betch and loves fighting people when intoxicated. Jen and I ended up leaving after an hour because we love pizza more than anything else in this world. We went home, ate our hot pepper pizza and parted ways to our beds. I was on Omegle for a bit and went to the washroom where I found Jen's phone in the bathroom sink. That's right, it was perfectly placed in the middle of the sink. I mean, how drunk do you have to be to leave your phone in the sink?

MEMORY LANE: FIREBALL

FIREBALL CINNAMON WHISKY:
When: March, 2009
Where: WCH/The Vault

The very first time I ever bought a bottle of Fireball was last year in March. I had tried it before and I liked it so I decided to give in and spend the $19.95 (big mistake). Me and some of the girls from my floor last year were going out to The Vault (sketchy ass club here, worst club ever)... anyways, we were drinking in our lounge doing shots (mistake number one) and after a few shots, my heart begins to beat super fast and I feel like I'm going to pass out. I had to leave, go to my room and lie down for a bit before I killed someone. After being in there for a few minutes, I felt better and returned back to my friends. Don't worry, the night had JUST begun at this point. We went to the bar, danced for a bit and then I realized that my one friend was M.I.A. (and no, not the singer). So I called her, she said she was outside the bar still because her friend's fake ID didn't work. This is where my detective skills came into play. We went to the side door of the club where people leave to go out and smoke, told our friend to meet us there and snuck her in when the security guards weren't looking (so badass, I know). However, this wasn't the first time that our friend tried sneaking in the side door. The security guards recognized her, surrounded us and told us to leave. I was absolutely terrified and I thought the security guards were going to kills us. We left, walked around to the front of the club and tried getting in again (epic fail). The owner of the club (or so he told us) came out and told us to leave. So, of course, me thinking I'm tough shit when drunk, I start talking back to him, telling him how awful and shitty his club is. We argued for a few minutes and then he BANS ME FROM THE CLUB... okay, pal. I was fuming at this point, just extremely pissed. The three of us left and went to The Fox where we were standing in line for a few minutes. The next events are somewhat of a blur to me, all I recall is seeing my one friend running towards a cab and the other, standing in line looking absolutely terrified. I then notice that there is water all over the ground and I'm like "where the fuck did this water come from?" I stared at that puddle for so long and couldn't grasp what the fuck that liquid was. THE NEXT DAY... a bunch of us were discussing the events from the night before and I asked them what the fuck happened when we were in line at The Fox since I didn't really remember much. They told me that they had to leave and go back to res since my friend pissed her pants because she was so trashed. Honestly, funniest moment of my life when I found that out. It all made sense to me: the urgency to get into the cab, that weird puddle on the ground that appeared out of nowhere. I haven't drank Fireball after this night and I never will again... although, when I think about it, that entire night comes back to me and then I'M the one pissing my pants.

GUILTY AS CHARGED: I'M A FISH PERSON

Don't get me wrong, I love dogs just as much as the next person but, fish will always have a special place in my heart... right next to my dog Rocky, that is. The first fish I had ever gotten was in February 2008 and I gave him the lovely name, Timbaland. Now, Timba was no ordinary fish, he was special and was just absolutely awesome. He was my best friend, a companion that I could truly count on because he was always there for me. Right now you're probably thinking, "fuck, this chick is crazy thinking a fish can be a best friend"... WELL, HE WAS, OKAY? I'm sorry for raising my voice, I just loved that fish so much. After Timba d..d..d...died, I was devastated, 126% devastated. The week before he died, I knew something was wrong with him because well, I was his momma. I wanted to take him to see a vet. My friends all laughed in my face when I said I wanted to take my betta fish to a doctor. So, I went to the mall for the day, came home later that night and found him.... dead. His poor lifeless body laying on the pebbles that I had so carefully placed inside his bowl after washing it the day before. I still remember this day as if it were yesterday.. oh wait, it was.... JUST KIDDING. He died in January 2009, almost one year I would've had the little guy. Just talking about this brings tears to my eyes. I can still see him lying on those pebbles, his neck (if he had one) looked as if it had been broken in half, his eyes were red, as if possessed by some sort of demon. I was so heartbroken after Timba died, I didn't have the strength to flush him down the toilet. I wanted to give him a funeral and a proper burial, it was the least I could do for him after everything him and I had been through. So, I kept him in a Vitamin Water bottle (one of the greatest inventions on this earth) and planned to give him a burial the next day. The next day turned into the day after, and the day after turned into the day after that, I just wasn't ready to get rid of him yet. One night, I got really trashed (my solution to coping with the pain from the loss of my dear fish).. and apparently showed my friend Timba in the bottle, was really upset...opened up the lid.... and smelled it...... a bunch of times. I know that sounds completely disgusting because, well, it is fucking disgusting. However, in a weird way, I'm going to say that act showed how much I truly cared for my fish. The next day, I realized that I had to let go and flush him down the toilet (something I had been dreading). So, I poured the bottle into the toilet, hesitated for a bit (maybe cried a little), and finally, flushed it. I always think about all the times we had together: me singing him lullabies before bed, reading him the latest issue of The Life and Times of a Betta Fish every month, cooking him perfect meals that consisted of blood worms and betta snacks, taking him out of his bowl and letting him swim freely in the pond down the street. You know, these memories I will always cherish because Timbaland Balls was the greatest fish I have ever had. My two other fish, Fib and Wilfrid, cannot even compare to him because I could never share the kind of bond I shared with him with anyone else. So please, when you go home tonight, give your fish a kiss and cherish those precious moments you have together because you never know when he might die and then you'll have to carry around his corpse in a Vitamin Water bottle.

Timbaland Balls
February 2008 - January 2009

THAT'S MY FAVOURITE SONG PLAYING THROUGH THE SPEAKERS

I feel like it has been so long since I last wrote a post for my blog. To be honest, I've been busy doing absolutely nothing and Omegling. That's right, I have just coined the term "Omegling", feel free to use it if you like. I had a pretty eventful weekend. On Friday, my roomies and I (plus our friend Mark), went to Revolution Nightclub. This was my first time going and I must say, I quite enjoyed myself there. This is probably one of the nicest clubs I have ever been to and compared to Philip's, you could pretty much eat off the floors at this place. So we get there, waited in line for about five seconds and as soon as we got inside, I lost my friends. I know I always say that one day I'm going to go to a bar alone and so, I'm saying that Friday was my night alone at the bar. Even though technically I didn't GO to the bar alone, I was still alone in the bar... for the most part. After being so rattled that I couldn't find any of my friends, I decided to just enjoy my time there and hung out on the dancefloor. This is where I found a boy who looks exactly like my hot prof from last semester. So obviously I hung out with him for most of the night because 1) he was hot 2) he was a hockey player and 3) he sang to me. After I left him, I found my friends and also a black man. I'm not going to get into further detail because well, I don't kiss and tell. After that, I found the hockey player again and we played tonsil hockey for a bit, a very competitive sport. I then realized how I hung out with my friends for about two minutes the entire night so called them to see where they were. I called Steph and she said that they were at home. Now, this has never happened to me before because my friends and I never leave the bar without each other. At this point, I was extremely rattled and needed to find a cab home. After wandering off into some field, I was so scared because it was so dark and Steph (still on the phone) guided me back to the light (a cab). I get home, gave the cabby a twenty dollar bill, the fare was six dollars, told him to keep the change and made my way inside. The night was pretty eventful and I must say, probably one of the best nights I have ever had here. Even though the night wasn't over after I got home, I'll let you use your imagination to finish the story.

THANK YOU, ST. PATRICK

Urban Dictionary (my fave) describes St. Patrick's Day as the following: Wear green. Go to parades and bars. Drink Guinness. Get snot hanging drunk. Act like an idiot. Blame March 17th. Seeing as that is exactly what we did (minus the drink Guinness part) on St. Patty's, I figured this defintion was pretty accurate.

Our day began around two o'clock in the afternooon. Some friends came over, we played flip cup in our driveway and invited randoms on the street to join us. Now, not trying to brag here but, my roommates and I are champs at flip cup... just pure champions. I recenetly lost my "flip" but, regained it on Wednesday, thankfully. Honestly, I'm pretty sure we won every single round of flip cup... and if we didn't, I'm just going to say that we did. We have improved our chant that we sing before we start playing. Before it was, "Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole, Laurier, Laurier" repeated twice. BUT NOW, we say that and then add "flip cup, bitch" at the end. It's a little vulgar but hey, it's a nice touch to an amazing song.

My street was a sea of green, it was just perfection. The house across from us had people on their roof and all over their lawn. I didn't get a very good picture of it because I was too amazed at my friend Matt on his unicycle.

I'm not even going to begin to try and give you a timeline to the events that occured on St. Patty's because I had absolutely no idea what time it was throughout the day. That's the beauty of drinking all day; you start early enough that you have all day to drink and still have the night to go out.

Our friend, April, got a ticket for standing onto the sidewalk with a beer bottle in her hands. We tried talking to Officer Slater and getting him to cut her some slack because it was St. Patty's but he was not impressed. We then went on campus for some food, got a pita, came back home, I took a nap and then went out to the bar. HOLY SHIT, I left out the best part... WE WERE ON THE NEWS! CTV was on our street for some of the day and taped us, it was just great. Second best part of the day: we didn't even have to clean up the outside because there was a man on a lawnmover driving by people's houses and cleaning up their mess. Also, four black hotties carried in our flip cup table and put it back into the basement for us. So yah, again, our night ended with a pizza slice.. and garlic dip because you can't have pizza without a dipping sauce.

MEMORY LANE: SMIRNOFF GREEN APPLE VODKA

I wanted to start this new thing where I tell you my memories (if I have any) from all the alcohol/alcohol brands I have tried. So, here we go...

SMIRNOFF GREEN APPLE VODKA:
When: New Year's Eve, 2006
Where: Kaitlyn's house/the bathroom floor

My friend Kaitlyn was throwing a party for New Year's Eve. I got there late and when I say late, I mean at eleven o'clock at night. After seeing how wasted everyone was and realizing that I only had an hour to get drunk before midnight, I decided the best choice for me was to drink my twenty-sixer of vodka as quickly as possible (eventually finishing the entire thing). To be quite honest, this entire night is a complete blur to me. My memories consist of the following: 1) I'm sitting at the bar in her basement taking shots with my friends, 2) I'm lying on her couch talking to my friend on the phone, 3) My friend picks me up from her house to bring me back to my other friend's house and 4) I'm sitting in front of the toilet... where I stayed for a good three hours. If I could take back any night of my drinking life, it would be this one, hands down. I have never been more sick in my entire life; I missed the countdown to New Year's, missed partying with my friends, made a complete ass of myself in front of my friends and totally got a lecture from my mom in the morning because she thought I overdosed on some hardcore drug and fell into a black hole. Since I was incapable of either talking or walking, when my mom called to wish me a "Happy New Year", my friends told her I was "downstairs playing videogames" and couldn't come to the phone (mistake number one). This story is actually kind of depressing but it's a good lesson to everyone (including me). I will never ever drink this kind of vodka again, just thinking about it is making me feel sick. However, if you're a fan of the green apple taste, I suggest either drinking it in cooler form or perhaps a lot slower than I did.

SIGHTING: BLACK MAN

I'm in Ottawa right now and me and my fam went out for dinner last night at Tucker's Marketplace. This was the first time I had ever been there and I'm obviously completely in love with it for one reason and one reason only: A HOT BLACK MAN CHECKED ME OUT... that's right, you heard me. This place is a buffet so I was waiting in line for some guy to make me some stir fry and from the corner of my eye I could see this hot black guy (I'm telling ya, my peripherals are all about the black guys).. anyways, I look over at him and saw him look me up and down.. like literally, UP AND DOWN. So, obviously my first instinct is to look behind/around me to see who he was looking at but the only person around was my eleven year old brother. So I then look back at him, he gives me a smile and a nod... and by but this point, I'm so fucking frightened, it's ridiculous. Like this siutation was just terrifying for me... as if this hot black man just gave me "the nod". What did I do, you ask? WELL, clearly being as rattled as I was, gave him an "I think I just shit my pants" smile back to him. I'm not used to this from black hotties. Normally they all generally just stare at the girls dancing at Philip's. I was sort of upset, seeing as this man could have been my future husband but then I realized, there are plenty more black men in the sea.

FOR ALL YOU RUM DRINKERS OUT THERE...

So I wanted to give my opnion on what type of rum that I like and this one is my absolute favourite..

(just plain old original)

Bacardi has flavoured rums also but I've only ever tried Orange, Raspberry, Citrus (ew) and Coconut. My favourite out of all of those was for sure Raspberry but the original is still my favourite. I'm not really a fan of any spiced rums but when I had Captain Morgan's, it was quite enjoyable. Another drink that I love getting at the bar is rum and coke (that will probably be the April's alcohol of the month) and made when right, it's the perfect drink.

ALCOHOL OF THE MONTH

My absolute favourite alcoholic drink is a whiskey sour. The first time I ever had one was last year and it's all I ever get when I'm at the bar (that's a lie, I get it a lot though). The cheapest place I've ever gotten one is obviously at Phillip's (it was $2.50)... and the most expensive was at Joe Dog's ($7.25)... do not ask my why I decided to get one for that price. It has a very distinct taste, it's sweet and delicious, there is no other way to describe it. So next time you're at the bar, get a whiskey sour because it will change your life.

I suggest not making this drink at home because I have tried before and it didn't taste as good as it did when I got it at the bars.

"I WISH I HAD MORE MILK"

Chainsaw is great, it's just friggin great. If you like fun hangout bars that have karaoke plus a live band, this bar is for you. I have been in love with this bar since last year, except that's when it was called The Spur. This is the bar that we went to every single Thursday last year.. aka "Spursday". It was pretty fun last night but I was super tired because I had only gotten two hours of sleep that day because I was up all night writing an essay. Other than the fact that I kept passing out on the table, it was fun. The band there asked for girls to come up and sing Don't Stop Believing by Journey. For those of you who know me, you know that I absolutely love this song. This is the song that we sang every single time we went to The Spur last year. So anyways, none of my friends wanted to go up and sing it with me so I went alone... JUST KIDDING. I kind of regret not going up and singing it though. However, I did stand up from my seat and conducted the rest of the bar as if they were in my choir. I guess you had to have been there to understand what I mean. Just picture me standing in the middle of Chainsaw waving my arms and singing as if I were the conductor of a symphony or choir. As if I managed to steal a beer last night even though beers were only two bucks. We were sitting at a table with a bunch of randos and there were about eight beers on the table and this guy (I think his name was Darren), he came over to get the beers and he's like "which ones are yours?" so I took one of the beers as if it were mine. I have a new dream.. a fantasy, if you will and it goes a little something like this:

I'm on stage at Chainsaw, a keyboard in front of me, everyone is silent, the spotlight is on me and I start playing Don't Stop Believing on the keyboard and then all of a sudden a band comes out of the darkness and starts playing with me. The crowd goes wild and everyone is cheering my name, I get a record deal from the guy sitting over at table eight because he's a producer at a big record company.

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FUCKING SWEET THAT WOULD BE?

Anywhos, now that I have shared my deepest darkest fantasy with you, I should be going. I'm going to Ottawa this weekend with my fam, I'm so stoked, I haven't seen them in so long. I'm so happy that I have brothers who are of legal drinking age so we can go out to the bars in Ottawa.

FINLAND'S FINEST

So I don't know if you guys have heard of the website Omegle but it's the greatest invention known to this world. It's this site where you talk to strangers and become best friends with them (sometimes). I wanted to share one of my conversations with you because it's probably one of my favourite conversations that I have ever had. If you're bored and can put up with almost every guy asking you if you're horny and want to go on webcam, you'll love this site almost as much as I do because it's not possible to love it as much as I do.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: wasssap
Stranger: nothing
Stranger: asl?
You: 20 f canada
Stranger: ;)
You: you
Stranger: im only 15 finland =(
Stranger: isit nice when canada win in the olimpics ?
Stranger: in hockey
You: yes... very nice... canada is the best
Stranger: are you hot i havent ever seen som one from canada
You: you mean my temperature? it's pretty cold here most of the time... i do live in an igloo
Stranger: noo i meen are u hot?
Stranger: lol
You: right now? no, i'm cold. my igloo is freezing
Stranger: are u a sexy girl?
You: OHHHHHH
Stranger: a gees u are a blond
You: yes, of course.. canada is full of sexy women
You: no, im a brunette
Stranger: are u canadies horny?
You: no, no... we're not gladiators.
Stranger: what are you wearing now?
You: right now i'm wearing my bear skinned parka with a seal hat and some furry mittens
Stranger: underwears?
Stranger: panties ?
You: yah.. some deer skin ones
Stranger: do you have big pussy?
You: no, we don't have those in canada. just dogs for pets.
Stranger: big vegiana?
You: why yes, i am a vegetarian
You have disconnected.

Also, told some boy today that I was from North Carolina. Then he asked me if I was Canadian about an hour into the conversation because I had said "eh" three times. Haha, whoops.

AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PLAY FLIP CUP WITH RUM

My weekend was pretty good, thank you for asking. I went to my roommate's hometown on Thursday until Saturday afternoon, which means I skipped my English class on Friday, sorry Bobby Wyse. On Saturday, we went to Toronto for a bit which was awesome because I haven't been to Toronto in so long. Then, we came home with my friend Marie (as in we kidnapped her from Toronto) and got ready for our party last night. Let me just say, I told myself to be in bed and sleeing by midnight tonight, not happening. So anyways, our party last night was great. I've decided that our drinking room (AKA The Spur) is the devil. Once you have entered that room, there is no going back and no telling how fucked you will be once you leave it. I swear to you, I was in there for five seconds then the flip cup took over me and BAM, my best friend for the whole night was my kitchen floor. I can't really say that I enjoyed myself last night because well, let's be serious, I don't think anyone remembers last night. Let's just say, railings were broken, phones were thrown and I fell... a lot. My body is not a fan of me right now and I stayed in bed all day until around ten pm when I got up to make some toast. My knees are so bruised, it's just ridiculous and there are cuts all over the place that weren't there yesterday. I bet you're wondering how many drunk calls and texts I made last night.... well, there may have been about three or four phone calls and a couple texts but that all happened before my phone dropped to the ground and shattered to pieces. Just kidding, it was thrown on the ground though but it's still all in one piece. I want to thank all my friends who tried helping me yesterday and want to apologize for trying to fight every single person who came anywhere near me. I would like to say that my walk down King Street at two in the morning helped sober me up but, it didn't. All in all, I guess it was a pretty good night and I suggest to everyone not to play flip cup with anything other than beer because you will get drunk and try to fight people.

WHAT EVERYONE NEEDS... A WALL OF SHAME

Wall of Shame: A certain area in a room that is completely dedicated to creating embarrassment for the people who are on the wall. An example being that your roommate has passed out on the futon with her thong hanging out (this has actually happened). Once a picture is taken to capture this moment, it gets printed and then put up on the wall to showcase.

Now, we have just recently created a Wall of Shame in our house and hopefully, at the end of university, our entire room will be covered with drunken pictures. We have a room in our house dedicated to drinking, we call it The Spur as a tribute to the bar that closed down last May.

This is a picutre of our Wall of Shame, just to give you guys an idea of what I'm talking about. It's kind of a bad picture but I think you understand what I mean.

WARNING: EXPLICIT SALSA CONTENT

I would like to share one of my worst drunken experiences with you. This actually happened about three years ago at a friend's birthday party in the summer. I was trashed, completely trashed to the point that my friends made me play flip cup with water but I didn't know that until the day after. So, it was a cool June evening and I was wearing my new summer dress that I bought for the party (somewhat important part of the story). Anyways, a bunch of us were hanging out in this field and there was this girl who started puking everywhere. So, I go over to comfort her, hold her hair back, you know, the thing that good friends do, ask her if she's okay and if she wants some water... and then... BAM the next thing I know, I'm on the ground. This is when I start rolling around and laughing to my friends saying, "GUYS, GUYSSSSS... I'm rolling around in salsa! WHY is there SALSA on the ground?"... and as I've told you before, I'm the biggest drunk dialer that ever existed so, obviously I'm on my phone leaving my friend a message telling her all about how I'm rolling around in salsa and wondering why there was salsa on the ground. So, my friends just started laughing at me and I had no idea what the fuck was so funny and was STILL confused as to why I was taking a bath in salsa. To this day, their laughter haunts my dreams. You're probably wondering what that "BAM" was before I hit the ground. Well, the puker PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE... and I hit the ground, my nose starts bleeding and I'm rolling around in salsa... EXCEPT it WASN'T salsa... that's right...... IT WAS PUKE. SO, at this point in time, I'm some drunk bitch who just got punched in the nose, rolling around in someone else's puke and getting blood all over the place. AND, to top all of this off, during the night I mysteriously cut open my finger, it gets infected the next day, swells and I have to go to the doctor's and explain to him that I don't remember how I got the cut because I was drunk.... and he puts me on antibiotics because the cut is so bad. The next morning, I woke up to puke and blood all over my dress wondering what the fuck happened the night before. Well, at least I wasn't rolling around in dog shit... oh no, wait... THAT HAS ALSO HAPPENED TO ME. You think your friends would help you out when you're rolling around in either dog shit, puke, blood or even actual salsa.... but no. Don't worry, I have learned my lesson and will never trust anything that is pretending to be salsa again.