A POST BY REQUEST

For those of you who know me, know that I'm like strangely obsessed with animals. Well, not obsessed, I just really love animals but then again, who doesn't? I never thought to write a post about this event because 1) it was traumatizing and 2) I was not intoxicated when it occurred and figured it was not suitable for my blog. However, my lovely friend Matthew requested that I write a post about the happenings of Sunday, March 21st. Here we go...

*Please note that for privacy reasons, Chester's real name was not used in this blog post.*

It was a gloomy Sunday evening. Steph, Matt and I were studying in the Dining Hall and decided to leave around eleven since we weren't actually getting any work done. As we were walking home, we see our friend Chester who kindly offers us a ride home because it was raining. Being lazy and not wanting to walk home in the rain, we gladly accepted his offer. At this point, everything just seemed perfect in our lives; we left the DH just in time to see Chester walking to his car where he offered to give us a ride when it was raining. By now you're probably thinking that this story is a happy one. WELL, it's not and you should probably be sitting down for the next part. Although, you're obviously sitting down right now because who goes on a computer while standing up? Anyways, we get in Chester's car and it was like there were fucking show tunes playing and all of us were singing along and loving life. We turn onto our street, Matt points out that there is a possum walking across the street and BAM, Chester hits the possum with his car. Not such a big deal right? I mean, it's not like Chester hit this poor little possum on purpose. OH NO WAIT, HE DID! That's right folks, Chester is a possum killer. This murder happened so quickly; he sped up, swerved to the left and then ran over the possum (which I named Ralph). I was in complete shock when this happened and never imagined that I would ever take part in the murder of an innocent animal. As we slowly drove away, I felt one tear roll down my cheek, but quickly wiping it away so the possum killer wouldn't see it. I then lectured Chester about killing a possum and told him that she/he was probably a mother/father going home to see their family. Chester then proceeded to tell me about what they do to chickens in a slaughterhouse as if to defend what he had just done. Don't get me wrong, we all love Chester and everything but, after this, it's hard to trust a guy who killed a possum out of pleasure. We all went to see Ralph after we got out of the car, I brought a shovel and made Chester carry Ralph back to our house. I wanted to bury him but the ground was frozen and so, called the Humane Society the next morning for them to come pick Ralph up. I guess all I can say is that I wish I was drunk when all this happened so I didn't have this memory of the car driving over poor Ralphy and the bump that I felt when we ran him over. This moment in time will forever haunt me and the other occupants in the car that evening. The only advice I have for all of you is that even the nicest people can be possum killers so be careful who you get in a car with.

REST IN PEACE RALPH, YOU WILL BE MISSED.