Sunday, November 28, 2010
I was sitting in my room working on my take-home exam (yes, they do exist) and I'm thinking to myself, "WHAT THE EFF AM I GOING TO DO TONIGHT?" I go out into the kitchen and see my roommates hanging out and drinking wine. "HOW INCREDIBLE IS THIS?" I say to myself. What a perfect evening to not do any homework, hang out with some underaged boys and get wasted. Let me explain the underaged boys part: my roommate's brother was at our house for the weekend, he brought up some friends and they lived in our basement for a couple days, the end. So I ask my roommate Kassy what her plans are for the night and she doesn't have any. We decide that we want to get drunk with a bunch of eighteen year olds. I mean, why the fuck not, right? So her and I get ready, tell the boys that we're hanging out with them (they didn't really have a choice or say in the matter) and we just had an incredible night. These boys introduced me to so many new things; a new drinking game, the power of a nickname and most importantly, that hanging out with people younger than you can be more fun than you think. I was a little weary about hanging out with these boys because well, they're like four years younger than me but I said "FUCK IT" and got drunk with them anyway. I just realized I haven't really talked much about what happened last night. I know that there was a lot of time spent on the kitchen floor, my new favourite place. I just decided, like five seconds ago, that hanging out at home and not going to a bar is the best thing in the world. I mean, who needs a bar when you have a kitchen floor and beer cups?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I hate you more than anything right now. Of course the day before my first quiz in one of my classes, the system or whatever the eff decides to shut down/not work/suck major ass. ALL I WANT IN MY LIFE IS THE LECTURE SLIDES THAT HOLDS THE INFORMATION THAT I NEED IN ORDER TO GET 100% ON THIS QUIZ. I know this quiz is only worth 5% but that 5% could be the difference between a B+ and A-, a C+ and a B-... LIKE WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE EXPECT FROM ME?? I can't even check my e-mails, something that I do every two seconds of my life and I feel totally lost with my lack of WebCT/new MyLearningSpace that I hate all together, another subject that I can't even get started on. I know I shouldn't have waited until the day before the quiz to start studying but come on, give me a break, I'm a busy lass and I even finished all my work in order to have all night tonight to study. So now, I am forced to watch the new episode of Cougar Town because I have nothing else to do with my time. SO THANKS, LAURIER... for nothing.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
This dance move is one of the very first dance moves that I ever created and have learned to master this bad boy to a T. This dance move consists of you having your hands in front of you body like you're holding a paint brush and then stroking as if you're painting a wall, a piece of furniture or a painting as if you're the next Pablo Picasso. You continue this with your right hand for as long as you feel appropriate and then switch over to your left hand to switch it up and fuck with people's minds as to how good and coordinated of a dancer you are.
Now, this one is fairly new (circa Summer of 2010) and I haven't really had time to perfect it that much because I'm usually too busy either destroying my house or corrupting youth on the streets of Waterloo. This dance move is exactly how you would picture an airplane flying in the beautiful, blue sky - except with a crazy drunk girl as the pilot. For this, you put your arms out as if they're the wings on an airplane and then you basically just 'fly' around the bar/club/nasty, dirty dungeon of a basement. It may sound foolish but the fifty-five year old men at Joe Dog's love this move, as should you.
Let me warn ya, this dance move is more complex than anything Michael Jackson, Madonna, Lady Gaga or that creep from N Sync, JC Chasez, has ever pulled. This move works well with a larger group of people, and when I say it works well, it's even more epic when there's at least five people doing it. The move is simple really, it's just the delivery that makes this one a little complicated. Everyone starts off in a circle facing each other, with both their hands together straight up in the air (as if your hands are the hands on a clock and it is twelve o'clock, midnight or afternoon, whichever you prefer). Then, to the beat of the song, move your right hand down to each hour - one, two, three, four, and so on. NOTE: Make sure your left hand stays where it is because you'll be drunk and won't understand how to tell time unless it's either eight o'clock, nine o'clock or any other o'clocks. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS COMPLICATED (stay with me folks), as your hand is making its way around the clock, you must pretend as if you are slapping an ass. That's right my friends, this is also an ass-slapping dance move. Once you have made it all the way back to twleve o'clock, you slowly turn away from the cirlce while doing spirit fingers... and VOILA, there you have "The Clock" dance move.
These three dance moves are the ones that I tend to "perform" for everyone whenever under the influence of that touchy subject we like to call, 'alcohol'. You and I both know that you will have to PRACTICE these dance moves in order or PERFECT them since it is totally worth it in the end. We all know that practice makes perfect, people! Feel free to use these dance moves at your next party, outdoor gathering, Phil's visit or family outing. Just remember to feel the music, don't make an ass of yourself by not following my directions and when in doubt, just party boy the people next to you.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
SMIRNOFF WATERMELON VODKA
I must say, the watermelon flavour is my favourite out of all the flavours that Smirnoff has. I have never really gotten sick of it, unlike some other flavours (GREEN APPLE, FACK MY LIFE) and feel as though I can really count on it for a good time. So, thank you, Smirnoff Watermelon Vodka for always being there for me and having my back... even when I have been too drunk to remember.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
*Chase: anything that can get rid of the nasty taste of alcohol after doing a shot (beer, lemon, lime, juice, pop and apparently Rockstar Vodka).
This drink is perfect to play Flip Cup with when you are too lazy to make a beer run and/or don't even like beer (only Canadian, please). The taste is a little fruity, a little fizzy but a whole lotta deliciousness (what the fuck?). To be honest, this drink kind of reminds me of the days when I would drink Twisted Smirnoff Coolers but, let's be serious, I'm not sixteen anymore.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Thank you Claud for nominating me for The Beautiful Blogger Award!!! Soooo nice of you!
The rules are - link back to the person who tagged you, nominate 7 other bloggers and list 7 facts about yourself.
And the nominees are (drum roll please):
Seven rando facts:
1. I almost drowned in a lazy river when I was ten
2. I'm scared of the dark
3. I have watched Superbad more times than a person should
4. I have a problem with laughing.. as in, I laugh at literally everything
5. I have a problem with being serious, hence number four
6. I used to be addicted to scratch tickets when I turned eighteen
7. I have probably spent about a hundred bucks playing the arcade game Stack 'Em
Friday, April 9, 2010
Good Day =)
Thursday, April 8, 2010
1. You need an equal amount of people on each team
2. Each player must have the same amount of alcohol in their cup
3. Chanting is a must
This is how you play the game:
The players from each team is paired up with a member from the opposite team. The purpose of the game is to be the first team to have all players consume their alcohol and flip their cups before the other team. The most suitable cups for this game is just your standard beer cups (these are recyclable, by the way). Once the player before you has completed their flip successfully, it is your time to shine and flip that cup in one try.
Rule One: LCBO
The perfect night out always starts with the right choice of alcohol. When picking the alcohol you will be consuming for the night, you must keep in mind a couple things: 1) you are what you drink, 2) it's cool to spice it up every once and awhile and 3) you can never have too much rum. For me, I know what kind of night I will be having from the type of alcohol that I drink. Rum = always epic drunk times while wine = way too drunk to even know my own name times. People always say not to mix different types of alcohol but I mean, if you gotta play Flip Cup, then you gotta play Flip Cup. I'd say, "the more the merrier" in this case.
Rule Two: Nap/Shower
For girls, one of the best things about a night out is getting ready. A nap is a necessity before you drink your night away. This way, after resting, you will be alert and aware of everything that is going on around you (for the most part). Starting to drink at nine and being tired by ten is never any fun so take at least an hour nap before diving in to the wonderful world of drinking. Next, SHOWER because no one likes a smelly drinking buddy. By doing this, the night will be stink free and you can feel better about yourself the morning after.
Rule Three: Music
Almost the same as picking the right alcohol, picking the right type of music to listen to while you're getting ready and also while you're drinking can make or break your night. If you're going to a club, listen to the latest hits on the radio OR just listen to Gaga on repeat (who the fuck doesn't like her?). If you're going to a bar, listen to some upbeat music, anything that will get you in the mood for some crazy drunkness. Don't be afraid to sing and dance while listening to your music, it will only put you in a great mood and it's always a great workout.
Rule Four: Outfit
Once again, your outfit should fit in to where you are going that night. Wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a wife beater is not appropriate for any club, well maybe The Vault because they are fucking sketchbags there. If you're going to a chill, sit down bar, jeans and a t-shirt is perfectly acceptable, especially when there is karaoke involved. Also, ask your friends what they are wearing so you don't look like a douchebag wearing your prom dress while they're all in flats and a skirt.
Rule Five: Drink, Drink, Drink
No one likes drinking alone, so, when you're planning a night out (or even a night in with drinking), invite some friends over. This is where all the four previous steps come into handy: 1) you have the right alcohol to get wasted with, 2) you are well rested and freshly showered aka ready to part-ay, 3) you have been listening to your favourite music in order to get you pumped for the night and 4) you are dressed for the part and can show off what you are wearing to your friends.
*Please proceed with caution when taking these rules into consideration in order to have the most epic and amazing night ever. Be prepared to have a blast and get pretty fucking wasted. I will not be held responsible for any damage that is caused to buildings, bodies or egos while using this technique. Drink safely, my friends.*
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
*Please note that for privacy reasons, Chester's real name was not used in this blog post.*
It was a gloomy Sunday evening. Steph, Matt and I were studying in the Dining Hall and decided to leave around eleven since we weren't actually getting any work done. As we were walking home, we see our friend Chester who kindly offers us a ride home because it was raining. Being lazy and not wanting to walk home in the rain, we gladly accepted his offer. At this point, everything just seemed perfect in our lives; we left the DH just in time to see Chester walking to his car where he offered to give us a ride when it was raining. By now you're probably thinking that this story is a happy one. WELL, it's not and you should probably be sitting down for the next part. Although, you're obviously sitting down right now because who goes on a computer while standing up? Anyways, we get in Chester's car and it was like there were fucking show tunes playing and all of us were singing along and loving life. We turn onto our street, Matt points out that there is a possum walking across the street and BAM, Chester hits the possum with his car. Not such a big deal right? I mean, it's not like Chester hit this poor little possum on purpose. OH NO WAIT, HE DID! That's right folks, Chester is a possum killer. This murder happened so quickly; he sped up, swerved to the left and then ran over the possum (which I named Ralph). I was in complete shock when this happened and never imagined that I would ever take part in the murder of an innocent animal. As we slowly drove away, I felt one tear roll down my cheek, but quickly wiping it away so the possum killer wouldn't see it. I then lectured Chester about killing a possum and told him that she/he was probably a mother/father going home to see their family. Chester then proceeded to tell me about what they do to chickens in a slaughterhouse as if to defend what he had just done. Don't get me wrong, we all love Chester and everything but, after this, it's hard to trust a guy who killed a possum out of pleasure. We all went to see Ralph after we got out of the car, I brought a shovel and made Chester carry Ralph back to our house. I wanted to bury him but the ground was frozen and so, called the Humane Society the next morning for them to come pick Ralph up. I guess all I can say is that I wish I was drunk when all this happened so I didn't have this memory of the car driving over poor Ralphy and the bump that I felt when we ran him over. This moment in time will forever haunt me and the other occupants in the car that evening. The only advice I have for all of you is that even the nicest people can be possum killers so be careful who you get in a car with.
REST IN PEACE RALPH, YOU WILL BE MISSED.
When: October 2008
Where: WCH/Terrace/Philip's/Literally all over campus
One of the first times that I drank any kind of Absolut vodka was first year university. I wanted to branch out from my Smirnoff drinking days and since I love the taste of peaches, thought that this choice was the right one. This was one month after I turned nineteen, and me being me and being nineteen, I thought that was I allowed to do anything because of my age. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but come on, I was young and didn't know any better. So anywhos, the night I drank this a pretty memorable one and one of my favourite nights from first year. My roommate this year (Kristin) had two friends come up to visit her for the weekend. They all came over to my res room to drink and then we set out for a night out on the.... campus. See, only two of us were nineteen at the time and we didn't do the whole fake ID thing so we just had to make the best of our night without going to any bars or clubs (man, I miss those days... not). Our intention for leaving my room was to make it over to one of the other residences to visit their friend. Did we ever make it over there? Def not. While walking through campus, we made a bunch of friends, people I probably see all the time at school and do not remember them at all thanks to this vodka. We somehow managed to make it to Philip's that night? Don't ask me how hat happened, it just did. We never went inside but just hung around outside the building for awhile because that's what cool people do I guess. We went back on campus, walked in the middle of the road, also a thing that cool people do and then we got stopped by the Special Constables. Not going to lie, I thought it was the police and thought I was so tough talking to them. You're probably wondering why it's such a big deal that the SCs were talking to us. Well, we had water bottle/coffee mugs full of alcohol that we were drinking on our adventure. The cops, I mean Special Constable men asked us what was in our cups and these were our responses: "juice", "gatorade", "rum and coke", "vodka". After hearing that two of us had alcohol in our cups, they were not pleased with us and said, "do you ladies know that it is a $300 fine to have open alcohol in public?" I replied with the line, "sir, it doesn't matter, I'm nineteen, I can drink wherever I want since I'm of legal drinking age." BAD MOVE ON MY PART. They told us to dump out our drinks in front of them and that they would let us off with a warning. Me, being drunk and stupid said, "can I chug the bottle instead of dumping it since that would be wasting alcohol." They just looked at each other, shook their heads and told me that defeated the whole purpose of this. THEN, I invited them back to my res room to continue drinking with us. Sadly, they declined my offer and then we chatted with them for a bit. The one officer actually went to my school and was so proud that he got a degree in Sociology. When he told me that, it was like it was from a movie. He was getting into the car, I yelled, "what did you come to Laurier for?" and he looked at me, proudly said, "Sociology" while nodding his head in approval. I found it amazing that he was now working as a Special Constable at the same school he got his degree. This encounter with these cops was a kind of wake up call for me and it was then that I realized that even though I was nineteen, I wasn't capable of doing anything that I pleased. However, being twenty, I now realize that THIS age is when I'm allowed to do whatever I want.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
1) I was "banned" from there
2) Because of number one, that means the owners/bouncers are assholes
3) I was kicked out for talking to a mirror (another story for another time)
4) The layout of the club is absolutely ridiculous (let me expand on this one)
Okay, so number four...
The dancefloor isn't even a dancefloor. At normal clubs, they have a separate place for the dancefloor, aka an ACTUAL dancefloor but here, they don't. Basically, you'll be dancing and people are pushing you out of their way because they're trying to walk by.
I must say, I had a blast predrinking at the Vesia's house (we call our friends the Vesia's because that's the last name of one of the girl's who lives there). I drank my Pink wine, sang a little Gaga and went to.... The Vault. One of the guys who was predrinking with us gave us all tickets to get in for free but we didn't get there before eleven thirty so we couldn't use it. I was stoked when he gave me this card because I didn't want to give The Vault any of my money because I refuse to support them... in any way. However, my five dollar cover is the last thing they will ever be getting from me. I did enjoy the part of the night where I decided to take a stroll down Ezra in my pink homesack. For those of you who don't know what a homesack is, Google it. Just kidding, you won't find it on Google. Just picture a house coat with a zipper. Somehow I managed to do mine up when it was inside out. I can't believe how much I hate The Vault, I truly apologize for those of you who like The Vault but I have one question for all of you, WHY? Believe you me, this place ain't no Philip's, so don't plan on going there any time soon.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
It's called Pink by Yellowglen, don't ask me what Yellowglen is because I have absolutely no idea. To be honest, what got me was the presentation of the bottle; I mean, who wouldn't want to drink a wine with a name like that? It looks classy and sophisticated, things I like to think I am when I drink wine. It's a sparkling wine, I don't know what that means in the wine world but it tastes delicious. I give this wine an A for AMAZING.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Where: My house/Big Buck's
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
When: March, 2009
Where: WCH/The Vault
The very first time I ever bought a bottle of Fireball was last year in March. I had tried it before and I liked it so I decided to give in and spend the $19.95 (big mistake). Me and some of the girls from my floor last year were going out to The Vault (sketchy ass club here, worst club ever)... anyways, we were drinking in our lounge doing shots (mistake number one) and after a few shots, my heart begins to beat super fast and I feel like I'm going to pass out. I had to leave, go to my room and lie down for a bit before I killed someone. After being in there for a few minutes, I felt better and returned back to my friends. Don't worry, the night had JUST begun at this point. We went to the bar, danced for a bit and then I realized that my one friend was M.I.A. (and no, not the singer). So I called her, she said she was outside the bar still because her friend's fake ID didn't work. This is where my detective skills came into play. We went to the side door of the club where people leave to go out and smoke, told our friend to meet us there and snuck her in when the security guards weren't looking (so badass, I know). However, this wasn't the first time that our friend tried sneaking in the side door. The security guards recognized her, surrounded us and told us to leave. I was absolutely terrified and I thought the security guards were going to kills us. We left, walked around to the front of the club and tried getting in again (epic fail). The owner of the club (or so he told us) came out and told us to leave. So, of course, me thinking I'm tough shit when drunk, I start talking back to him, telling him how awful and shitty his club is. We argued for a few minutes and then he BANS ME FROM THE CLUB... okay, pal. I was fuming at this point, just extremely pissed. The three of us left and went to The Fox where we were standing in line for a few minutes. The next events are somewhat of a blur to me, all I recall is seeing my one friend running towards a cab and the other, standing in line looking absolutely terrified. I then notice that there is water all over the ground and I'm like "where the fuck did this water come from?" I stared at that puddle for so long and couldn't grasp what the fuck that liquid was. THE NEXT DAY... a bunch of us were discussing the events from the night before and I asked them what the fuck happened when we were in line at The Fox since I didn't really remember much. They told me that they had to leave and go back to res since my friend pissed her pants because she was so trashed. Honestly, funniest moment of my life when I found that out. It all made sense to me: the urgency to get into the cab, that weird puddle on the ground that appeared out of nowhere. I haven't drank Fireball after this night and I never will again... although, when I think about it, that entire night comes back to me and then I'M the one pissing my pants.
February 2008 - January 2009
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Our day began around two o'clock in the afternooon. Some friends came over, we played flip cup in our driveway and invited randoms on the street to join us. Now, not trying to brag here but, my roommates and I are champs at flip cup... just pure champions. I recenetly lost my "flip" but, regained it on Wednesday, thankfully. Honestly, I'm pretty sure we won every single round of flip cup... and if we didn't, I'm just going to say that we did. We have improved our chant that we sing before we start playing. Before it was, "Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole, Laurier, Laurier" repeated twice. BUT NOW, we say that and then add "flip cup, bitch" at the end. It's a little vulgar but hey, it's a nice touch to an amazing song.
My street was a sea of green, it was just perfection. The house across from us had people on their roof and all over their lawn. I didn't get a very good picture of it because I was too amazed at my friend Matt on his unicycle.
I'm not even going to begin to try and give you a timeline to the events that occured on St. Patty's because I had absolutely no idea what time it was throughout the day. That's the beauty of drinking all day; you start early enough that you have all day to drink and still have the night to go out.
Our friend, April, got a ticket for standing onto the sidewalk with a beer bottle in her hands. We tried talking to Officer Slater and getting him to cut her some slack because it was St. Patty's but he was not impressed. We then went on campus for some food, got a pita, came back home, I took a nap and then went out to the bar. HOLY SHIT, I left out the best part... WE WERE ON THE NEWS! CTV was on our street for some of the day and taped us, it was just great. Second best part of the day: we didn't even have to clean up the outside because there was a man on a lawnmover driving by people's houses and cleaning up their mess. Also, four black hotties carried in our flip cup table and put it back into the basement for us. So yah, again, our night ended with a pizza slice.. and garlic dip because you can't have pizza without a dipping sauce.
Monday, March 15, 2010
SMIRNOFF GREEN APPLE VODKA:
When: New Year's Eve, 2006
Where: Kaitlyn's house/the bathroom floor
My friend Kaitlyn was throwing a party for New Year's Eve. I got there late and when I say late, I mean at eleven o'clock at night. After seeing how wasted everyone was and realizing that I only had an hour to get drunk before midnight, I decided the best choice for me was to drink my twenty-sixer of vodka as quickly as possible (eventually finishing the entire thing). To be quite honest, this entire night is a complete blur to me. My memories consist of the following: 1) I'm sitting at the bar in her basement taking shots with my friends, 2) I'm lying on her couch talking to my friend on the phone, 3) My friend picks me up from her house to bring me back to my other friend's house and 4) I'm sitting in front of the toilet... where I stayed for a good three hours. If I could take back any night of my drinking life, it would be this one, hands down. I have never been more sick in my entire life; I missed the countdown to New Year's, missed partying with my friends, made a complete ass of myself in front of my friends and totally got a lecture from my mom in the morning because she thought I overdosed on some hardcore drug and fell into a black hole. Since I was incapable of either talking or walking, when my mom called to wish me a "Happy New Year", my friends told her I was "downstairs playing videogames" and couldn't come to the phone (mistake number one). This story is actually kind of depressing but it's a good lesson to everyone (including me). I will never ever drink this kind of vodka again, just thinking about it is making me feel sick. However, if you're a fan of the green apple taste, I suggest either drinking it in cooler form or perhaps a lot slower than I did.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Bacardi has flavoured rums also but I've only ever tried Orange, Raspberry, Citrus (ew) and Coconut. My favourite out of all of those was for sure Raspberry but the original is still my favourite. I'm not really a fan of any spiced rums but when I had Captain Morgan's, it was quite enjoyable. Another drink that I love getting at the bar is rum and coke (that will probably be the April's alcohol of the month) and made when right, it's the perfect drink.
I suggest not making this drink at home because I have tried before and it didn't taste as good as it did when I got it at the bars.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I'm on stage at Chainsaw, a keyboard in front of me, everyone is silent, the spotlight is on me and I start playing Don't Stop Believing on the keyboard and then all of a sudden a band comes out of the darkness and starts playing with me. The crowd goes wild and everyone is cheering my name, I get a record deal from the guy sitting over at table eight because he's a producer at a big record company.
CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FUCKING SWEET THAT WOULD BE?
Anywhos, now that I have shared my deepest darkest fantasy with you, I should be going. I'm going to Ottawa this weekend with my fam, I'm so stoked, I haven't seen them in so long. I'm so happy that I have brothers who are of legal drinking age so we can go out to the bars in Ottawa.
Monday, March 8, 2010
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: 20 f canada
Stranger: im only 15 finland =(
Stranger: isit nice when canada win in the olimpics ?
Stranger: in hockey
You: yes... very nice... canada is the best
Stranger: are you hot i havent ever seen som one from canada
You: you mean my temperature? it's pretty cold here most of the time... i do live in an igloo
Stranger: noo i meen are u hot?
You: right now? no, i'm cold. my igloo is freezing
Stranger: are u a sexy girl?
Stranger: a gees u are a blond
You: yes, of course.. canada is full of sexy women
You: no, im a brunette
Stranger: are u canadies horny?
You: no, no... we're not gladiators.
Stranger: what are you wearing now?
You: right now i'm wearing my bear skinned parka with a seal hat and some furry mittens
Stranger: panties ?
You: yah.. some deer skin ones
Stranger: do you have big pussy?
You: no, we don't have those in canada. just dogs for pets.
Stranger: big vegiana?
You: why yes, i am a vegetarian
You have disconnected.
Also, told some boy today that I was from North Carolina. Then he asked me if I was Canadian about an hour into the conversation because I had said "eh" three times. Haha, whoops.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Now, we have just recently created a Wall of Shame in our house and hopefully, at the end of university, our entire room will be covered with drunken pictures. We have a room in our house dedicated to drinking, we call it The Spur as a tribute to the bar that closed down last May.
This is a picutre of our Wall of Shame, just to give you guys an idea of what I'm talking about. It's kind of a bad picture but I think you understand what I mean.