Monday, July 5, 2010
VHAT THA FACK?
Where the fack have you guys been? I have been writing and writing and WRITING blogs and NO ONE has commented on any of them. Oh, no, waiiiit a second... where the fack have I been? Well, to be quite honest with you guys, I've been spending my summer working and not really doing much of anything else. I got drunk for the first time in like a month this past weekend (greatest day ever, I will explain in a post later) but other than, I literally do nothing else with my time. My life consists of the following: wake up, go to work, eat dinner, go to sleep and then do it all over again. I'm working like super crazy hours but that means lots of money so I'm like loving my life over here in B-Town. There IS another reason that I haven't been blogging much but I am way too frightened to tell you guys. Well, since you have nagged and nagged, I guess I have no choice but to tell you. I'm just going to come right out and say it... I have lost my humour. I'm not even joking with you guys right now. A couple weeks ago, I went through a midlife crisis (yes, I know I am only twenty but it's midlife for me since I plan on dying when I'm fourty while saying Tim Robbins from a burning building). See, here's the thing, I have my friend Will to blame for this midlife crisis because he is the one who stole my humour from me. I mean, most people steal cars, money, drugs, gum for their mother's purses, but this guy is going around and stealing people's humour.. and for that matter, MY humour. It all started when I moved back home for the summer after school was over (right now, you should all be staring off at the sky as if you are reminiscing about your own life). I started working at my job, where this so-called friend of mine also works. Now, I didn't notice it at first because well, he's a sneaky little bugger who hides theft extremely well, but, as time moved on, I noticed more and more that he was becoming funnier and funnier... until one day.. BAM, it hit me (not a truck, HIS HUMOUR). I can honestly say, that day was one of the worst days of my life. I couldn't decide what was worse, the fact that I wasn't funny anymore or the fact that he was the one that made me realize it. Honestly, I still don't know which one is worse... all I know is that they both mean the same thing: my funny bone has been broken. You may all think this is a joke, but I mean business here people. I make jokes, no one laughs... I put myself in danger to be funny, no one laughs... I EVEN STEAL JOKES FROM DANE COOK AND USE THEM AS MY OWN, no one laughs. I seriously am starting to believe that I am one of those people that people laugh AT and not WITH. I can't even really describe to you the thoughts that have been going through my mind these last couple months. A lot of anger, saddens, bitterness... definitely not funniness, I can tell you that for sure. I don't know what life is without humour. I can't imagine a day without laughter, without any sort of giggle. I find that I am the only one laughing at my jokes now. What kind of a life is that? I can't be known as the girl who laughs alone in a corner because no one will play with her? What is this even, Elementary School? I guess all I can say now is that the truth hurts. I, Christina Caroline, am no longer funny. So please be kind to me the next time you see me, I am a hurting grasshopper.