DIRTY PHIL'S CAN'T GET ANY DIRTIER

You and I both know how much I love Dirty Phil's but, let's be serious here for a second, I think DP has lost its magic. OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK. The magic is still there, but not as strong as it used to be. I realized last night how DIRTY it actually is. I'm pretty sure the smell is never going to leave my nostrils; a mixture of booze and B.O. captures the pure essence of the lovely bar, Dirty Phil's. The other times I have been at Phil's, I loved it, like absolutely was in love with it. After last night, I found out why it is called "Dirty Phil's". For starters, as soon as you open the door, there is a smell that is completely indescribable to those who have never been to Phil's. Once you go down the stairs, passed the stripper poles, that's right, I said stripper poles, you have entered a world that is only enjoyable when extremely, EXTREMELY intoxicated. Now, I'm not saying that the only way that you will enjoy Phil's is if you are so fucked that you don't even know who you are, all I'm saying is that... actually, that is EXACTLY what I am saying. I guess I wasn't as drunk last night as I have been the previous times I have spent my night at Phil's. A pro to spending your drunken night at Phil's is the fact that drinks are $2.25 there. SO, in the long run, Phil's saves you money, even though you may spend years trying to get rid of that horrible smell, it's totally worth it. Another good thing about the drinks being so cheap is that if you accidentally drop them on the floor, it's not as depressing as dropping a five dollar rum and coke. Number of drinks I have dropped on the floor at Phil's: four. BUT, I'm totally fine with that because of how cheap they were. Dropping four drinks at any other bar? TWENTY DOLLARS DOWN THE DRAIN. Dropping four drinks at Phil's? You are basically getting free money. After all of this, I'm beginning to love Phil's again. I mean, who wouldn't love it? Cheap drinks, stripper poles, bathroom stalls without locks on them AND a sick tattoo that you get at the beginning of the night saying the day of the week that you went there. So, I guess what I'm trying to say to all those haters of Phil's, don't knock it till you've tried it, unless you've tried it then you know exactly what I'm talking about.